The Truth is insane

Doers : Take action now or never

 

Pain & Gain Movie

The concept of Doers has gained popularity in recent years. What is a Doer you may Ask yourself? Well the answer is right below, if you haven’t seen the movie Pain & Gain this clip should motivate you

If you have been following up on previous articles “Dreamers : Give birth to your ideas” and “Believers : Validation seekers” . If you haven’t its okay you can catch up here http://wp.me/p4frGB-5D and here http://wp.me/p4frGB-5V.

This is the third and final stage. So you have went through the dreaming and believing? What now? You start doing things. Do whatever you have been planning for months. Want to leave work and start your own business? Do it. Want to start a new career? Do it. Whatever it is now is the time. No one else will feel pity for you and fulfill your goals. You yourself is responsible!

I nearly didn’t finish this third part of the trilogy because of that little voice that told me tomorrow is still another day. Being a Doer means defeating that little manipulative voice. BEING A DOER MEANS KILLING PROCRASTINATION AND EXCUSES. What have you done that only you can be proud of? Not those favours you only do because you want to appear kind. Not the things you do to please your boss, partner, parents or the world. It’s time to do your deepest desires. DO IT! DO IT NOW!

6 harsh truths that will make you a better person by David Wong

6 harsh truths that will make you a better person by David Wong

17 million views to date, numbers don’t lie. Find out the 6 truths that will surely make you question a few things.

Believers : validation seekers

*note belief/believing is not used in religious context.

Having ideas and believing in them is the best thing ever. Problem is some of us never pass this stage. We groom our ideas and maybe tell a few people about them. Telling your family and friends is a good thing, they will give you the encouragement you need. The rest of the world however won’t give you validation just buy telling them. You need to execute your plans or mission. Validation gives you temporary pleasure which is really nothing. A few people saying your cool is really nice but it doesn’t take you a step closer to your dreams.

Waiting on miracles

During the believing stage obstacles such as procrastination and validation attack you the most. After You have realized that you have been dreaming for too long , you start to believe in your idea. You tell a few people which is good and you stay there comfortable with the validation you get. We are all guilty of this. The problem is not telling  people about your idea its getting comfort and resting after you have told them. They will not remind you to get up and continue with your plan. They will wait to see if you actually do what you say. They have their own missions to worry about. Don’t rely on certain things or individuals for your success. I have a lot of experience with this stage. My close friends and I always come up with great , feasible ideas but we sometimes never get past the believing stage and to start being Doers. A few ideas have actually come to life but we not were we want to be.  Personally I have slowly started being a Doer.  Commitment is what is really needed.  Don’t do it for validation but do it because it is your calling.

Move past it

Procrastination is the killer of dreams. “I will go to the gym next week, I will clean up tomorrow, I will study two days before the exam”. Chances are you NEVER do all these things. You create deadlines on your own terms and then fail to live up to them. Why leave it to the last minute. Laziness is procrastination’s apprentice . What you are doing at that particular moment that is greater than the task you avoiding? There is no miracle that will magically give your ideas life. The best part is actually the journey chasing it and failing along the way. If all your dreams suddenly came true then what? Exactly absolute misery and a boring life with nothing to look forward to.

The final stage Doers is coming soon

 

Dreamers : Give birth to your ideas

That Spark!

We all get great ideas on the regular but often end as just great ideas. My brain has been fertilized many times during Economics and Finance lectures with great ideas. As soon as I leave the lecture hall i suffer a miscarriage and all my ideas go away. Some ideas become too powerful and dwell in my head for months and months not being born. There is a certain classification of people I call dreamers, its more like a stage/phase that you go through. You get the Dreamers, Believers and the Doers.

 

Dreamers

The Dreamers never execute their ideas. I once was a dreamer , well I am a recovering dreamer. Truth is without having dreams you are hopeless in life but your life should not be lived through dreams and day dreaming about ridiculous scenarios. All my ideas would fully succeed in my head no matter what. They never got to taste the real-world and its hardships. This was not life, this was a prison holding back greatness. It makes me sad when I come across Dreamers because I know the great potential they possess. They would often say one day is one day. Personally I do not believe in the “one day” theory. I believe I make it happen instead of leaving it to destiny. One person would waste their whole life with false hope on a certain event or outcome. Too much hope kills and stops you from living. You might forgo or refrain from certain things in hopes of that one outcome you value so much. You need hope but too a certain extent. At times you have to learn to let go.

 

Dream catching

You need to catch your dreams and execute them. The truth is not all your ideas will be a success, failure is sure to come on multiple occasions. You will never know the outcome without execution of that idea. Do not let your ideas over mature. When they are due give birth to them. Of-course like any infant they need your undivided attention. After a few months or years of nursing and nurturing your idea it can start to prosper. This is the best part when you start to see, feel and experience the desired results.

Giving Birth

 

Believers and Doers to follow soon

The Transition

 

Being a Macho Man

 

 

 

 

A few days ago I read a post about manhood, what it is? how do you know when you have entered it? Which sparked a train of thought. Is there really a certain age at which as a male you can say I have now entered or is it more of a feeling. Some cultures would have certain rituals or ceremonies which serve as the transition from being a boy into manhood. Some males never complete their transition process and end up living life as “wussies”. Sad reality hey.

 

The transition is when you break free from the comfortable feminine world and enter the masculine, hardcore, unfair, pain-promoting, beer-drinking, risk-taking world. Leaving mummy’s nest and entering daddy’s cave. Going from Hero to Villain, learning to say No! And sticking to your boundaries. Being consumed by a mission or task in such depth that you lose yourself and completely forget about the outside world.  Living in pure discomfort outside your comfort zone.

Camp wussy?

It is safe to say every boy has a deep emotional bond with his mother. This relationship is healthy up to a certain point. It teaches him tenderness, love, affection and compassion. This may be harmful if not managed properly, it can turn a man into a wussy or hardcore hothead anger machine. During and after the transition a man won’t lose these traits he picked up from his mother but his masculine side will dominate and be more visible. It is rare for you to find your mom at fault and during your transition your views may often clash with your mother’s views. This will result in two things happening, a complete rebellion or withdrawal back into the nest living with mommy dearest. This is the reason you find 40 year old “boys”. They live in the nest their whole lives in comfort. He could have a family of his own married with a few kids but still be mama’s boy. At times he might resort to emotional and physical abuse to try and compensate for the lack of masculine force and direction in his life

Man of Steel, Hero or Villain.

A father-figure comes into play and is most needed during the transition. If there is no male influence or if the male going through transition does not trust the males in his life , this will hinder his journey. A father goes from a hero into a villain and back into a hero again. As a kid your father is your protector,a superhero. You get into your early teens he becomes a villain stopping you from being wasted all weekend cramping your style, making you go to school and obey rules. When the transition is near you start to see the light again. Upon completion of your transition you become a hero to others and a villain to some. Rebellion is the usual route if there is no male-figure. The boy would drink excessively, start doing drugs, get into fights all in attempts to leave the nest and get into the cave. In some cases they would take less self-destructing ways such as being consumed in a certain sport or activity or sexual addictions. They have to try and embrace raw masculine energy with no guidance. Wrong decisions are easily made and life-time consequences are suffered.

I myself am currently going through the transition. I am grateful I have my father’s support and presences. Even though there are many obstacles and wrong decisions, the guidance brings reassurance. The is no right or wrong but only my path and choices.

There are many …

There are many fish in the sea but some of these fishes are poisonous, watch who you creep with

I write this in hope to later visit it in 5 years time or more. I should have addressed it to myself. Let me make it right.

Dear Future Andile Xaba

  You have learnt so many things, values, beliefs and morals. I believe up to the date that you read this you will still be on point on self-growth and discovery. I think we both understand that being lost is not an option. After so much work on us I hope you don’t get consumed and get lost in the world. Use this as a pillar of direction and a reminder of your mission. Truth is my preferences now won’t be the same as yours. They may differ but they will be centered around the same core but yours will be better or more improved. The people in my life right now won’t be the same as the people as yours. Right now it is safe to say there is no poison or rotten influence in my life but nothing has 100% certainty. Things like death, relocating and change of views are factors to consider. The aim is to have many relations with different people but it is hard to tell beyond the surface until you in deep. A rotten apple appears fresh until you take that first bite and end up with a mouthful of shit! Friendships are often taken for granted but me and you both know the role they have played in our lives. Every alpha needs a pack, being a lone ranger limits our growth. At times we won’t experience everything in life and your peers’ experiences teach you a lot. Don’t lose the masculine influence in your life. 

Although most decisions we make are independent but somehow they affect others. Don’t forget you and your happiness come first but that is no reason to be selfish. So continue living well and making those hard decisions to the best of your ability. DO NOT fear CHANGE and losing certain things. People will come and go and so will other material things. So lets continue on not depending too much on external factors. 

Social networks, silent killers?

Socializing in modern day has become a virtual experience for many people. Technology is ever evolving and at rapid speeds. Question is has social networks taken over the face-to-face human interaction? It is no secret that is has taken out the juice in social interaction. Texting is just passing of words from one user to the next. All the emotions, facial expressions and body language meant to be portrayed along with the message are lost. Is this killing our social skills? Are we beginning to lack tolerance of those cheesy small talks with strangers in favour of chatting to our “online” friends? Some will beg to differ as social networks have allowed them to step out their shell of shyness or lack of confidence. Long distance couples may argue that social networks has helped keep the flame alive. While others may blame social networks for failure of their relations.

Have you ever been so angry with someone and you feel as if a text expressing your anger isn’t enough? Even a phone call doesn’t seem to do justice. An emoticon (smiley) may come to your aid but still doesn’t get the job done. Limitations of virtual communication, the receiver of the text might not be emotionally moved as you have intended. Your issue might get resolved but not in the manner you wished for.

People can indulge in deep meaningful conversations over the net but those same conversations can be quickly forgotten due to lack of emotional presence, facial expressions, body language and tone of delivery. Those conversations were supposed to carry memories with them but instead a smartphone or computer screen comes to mind. Sticky situations are easily avoided by ignoring your little device. There is enough time to think of replies that will work to your benefit. If you owe someone money and they text asking for payment. You can take your own sweet time to think of a smooth lie as to why you couldn’t pay in time. In the real world this privilege is taken away and only real con artists and manipulative masters get away with blatant lies.

For some, social networks are heroes to them. To some, a great place to advertise and do business. Some can’t face the harsh reality and seek comfort behind social networks. A self-conscious person would live behind the screen trying to appear as cool in order to please society and its expectations. Status messages can be deleted and erased but life experiences can’t. The virtual community gives us second chances to reverse or undo our mistakes. A hurtful or offensive tweet can be easily taken back by deleting it but those same words can’t be taken back in real life. An apology maybe be given but the damage will be done already.

Businesses bloom with social network exposure especially fashion and tech businesses. Trends go very far with users especially with this infamous term “swag”. The popular users show off their possessions and influences the followers. Many portable communication devices come with a wide range of pre-installed social apps. This makes it inevitable that the user will definitely use at least one of the pre-installed apps. Large amounts of money are invested in upgrading already existing social apps, indicating growth in this market.

Whether you with them or against them, truth is there are here to stay. We cannot run away from the fact that over use is harmful. A complete stop could also be destructive to modern day operations. It is all up to self-control and balance.