The Truth is insane

Doers : Take action now or never

 

Pain & Gain Movie

The concept of Doers has gained popularity in recent years. What is a Doer you may Ask yourself? Well the answer is right below, if you haven’t seen the movie Pain & Gain this clip should motivate you

If you have been following up on previous articles “Dreamers : Give birth to your ideas” and “Believers : Validation seekers” . If you haven’t its okay you can catch up here http://wp.me/p4frGB-5D and here http://wp.me/p4frGB-5V.

This is the third and final stage. So you have went through the dreaming and believing? What now? You start doing things. Do whatever you have been planning for months. Want to leave work and start your own business? Do it. Want to start a new career? Do it. Whatever it is now is the time. No one else will feel pity for you and fulfill your goals. You yourself is responsible!

I nearly didn’t finish this third part of the trilogy because of that little voice that told me tomorrow is still another day. Being a Doer means defeating that little manipulative voice. BEING A DOER MEANS KILLING PROCRASTINATION AND EXCUSES. What have you done that only you can be proud of? Not those favours you only do because you want to appear kind. Not the things you do to please your boss, partner, parents or the world. It’s time to do your deepest desires. DO IT! DO IT NOW!

“Humans are act…

“Humans are actually very strange. Most of the time we know exactly what we want but one of two things happen:
1) i) We find it (the thing we want), but sometimes (I lie, MOST of the time) its in a different form from how we’d imagined it would be so we ii) somehow manage to convince ourselves that it actually can’t be what we’d wanted in the first place. But then we end up shooting ourselves in the foot because we lose out on the very thing we wanted.
OR
2) [More difficult to articulate] i) We find the thing we want in a state that’s almost identical to the image that we’ve built up in our heads but we ii) create a perpetual war within ourselves where one half is all for graciously accepting this thing that we want but the other half is in disbelief that the thing we want has been found. The evil latter half brainwashes the former half and right there is the conception of non-existent cracks and dents in the thing we want. We look for the smallest flaws in this “perfect” thing that we originally wanted but they accumulate so eventually, we’ve deteriorated it so much that we can now discard it, foolishly accepting that it again couldn’t have been what we’d originally wanted because I mean “Look at it, it’s so flawed! ”
Conclusion: I think what I’m trying to say is that too much time is wasted conceptualizing and seeking what we THINK we want, which makes way for oversight and we miss the things we actually want (and/or need).
*PS: I promise it made sense in my head (/_\) ” By Sinenhlanhla Zulu

This is a post made by a lady friend of mine Sinenhlanhla Zulu on Facebook. I took what i could from it and I felt I should share this with Everyone. It touches on something that has been lingering on my mind lately, Self-sabotage. Now I am more encouraged to do a follow up post to this

Believers : validation seekers

*note belief/believing is not used in religious context.

Having ideas and believing in them is the best thing ever. Problem is some of us never pass this stage. We groom our ideas and maybe tell a few people about them. Telling your family and friends is a good thing, they will give you the encouragement you need. The rest of the world however won’t give you validation just buy telling them. You need to execute your plans or mission. Validation gives you temporary pleasure which is really nothing. A few people saying your cool is really nice but it doesn’t take you a step closer to your dreams.

Waiting on miracles

During the believing stage obstacles such as procrastination and validation attack you the most. After You have realized that you have been dreaming for too long , you start to believe in your idea. You tell a few people which is good and you stay there comfortable with the validation you get. We are all guilty of this. The problem is not telling  people about your idea its getting comfort and resting after you have told them. They will not remind you to get up and continue with your plan. They will wait to see if you actually do what you say. They have their own missions to worry about. Don’t rely on certain things or individuals for your success. I have a lot of experience with this stage. My close friends and I always come up with great , feasible ideas but we sometimes never get past the believing stage and to start being Doers. A few ideas have actually come to life but we not were we want to be.  Personally I have slowly started being a Doer.  Commitment is what is really needed.  Don’t do it for validation but do it because it is your calling.

Move past it

Procrastination is the killer of dreams. “I will go to the gym next week, I will clean up tomorrow, I will study two days before the exam”. Chances are you NEVER do all these things. You create deadlines on your own terms and then fail to live up to them. Why leave it to the last minute. Laziness is procrastination’s apprentice . What you are doing at that particular moment that is greater than the task you avoiding? There is no miracle that will magically give your ideas life. The best part is actually the journey chasing it and failing along the way. If all your dreams suddenly came true then what? Exactly absolute misery and a boring life with nothing to look forward to.

The final stage Doers is coming soon

 

Dreamers : Give birth to your ideas

That Spark!

We all get great ideas on the regular but often end as just great ideas. My brain has been fertilized many times during Economics and Finance lectures with great ideas. As soon as I leave the lecture hall i suffer a miscarriage and all my ideas go away. Some ideas become too powerful and dwell in my head for months and months not being born. There is a certain classification of people I call dreamers, its more like a stage/phase that you go through. You get the Dreamers, Believers and the Doers.

 

Dreamers

The Dreamers never execute their ideas. I once was a dreamer , well I am a recovering dreamer. Truth is without having dreams you are hopeless in life but your life should not be lived through dreams and day dreaming about ridiculous scenarios. All my ideas would fully succeed in my head no matter what. They never got to taste the real-world and its hardships. This was not life, this was a prison holding back greatness. It makes me sad when I come across Dreamers because I know the great potential they possess. They would often say one day is one day. Personally I do not believe in the “one day” theory. I believe I make it happen instead of leaving it to destiny. One person would waste their whole life with false hope on a certain event or outcome. Too much hope kills and stops you from living. You might forgo or refrain from certain things in hopes of that one outcome you value so much. You need hope but too a certain extent. At times you have to learn to let go.

 

Dream catching

You need to catch your dreams and execute them. The truth is not all your ideas will be a success, failure is sure to come on multiple occasions. You will never know the outcome without execution of that idea. Do not let your ideas over mature. When they are due give birth to them. Of-course like any infant they need your undivided attention. After a few months or years of nursing and nurturing your idea it can start to prosper. This is the best part when you start to see, feel and experience the desired results.

Giving Birth

 

Believers and Doers to follow soon

The Transition

 

Being a Macho Man

 

 

 

 

A few days ago I read a post about manhood, what it is? how do you know when you have entered it? Which sparked a train of thought. Is there really a certain age at which as a male you can say I have now entered or is it more of a feeling. Some cultures would have certain rituals or ceremonies which serve as the transition from being a boy into manhood. Some males never complete their transition process and end up living life as “wussies”. Sad reality hey.

 

The transition is when you break free from the comfortable feminine world and enter the masculine, hardcore, unfair, pain-promoting, beer-drinking, risk-taking world. Leaving mummy’s nest and entering daddy’s cave. Going from Hero to Villain, learning to say No! And sticking to your boundaries. Being consumed by a mission or task in such depth that you lose yourself and completely forget about the outside world.  Living in pure discomfort outside your comfort zone.

Camp wussy?

It is safe to say every boy has a deep emotional bond with his mother. This relationship is healthy up to a certain point. It teaches him tenderness, love, affection and compassion. This may be harmful if not managed properly, it can turn a man into a wussy or hardcore hothead anger machine. During and after the transition a man won’t lose these traits he picked up from his mother but his masculine side will dominate and be more visible. It is rare for you to find your mom at fault and during your transition your views may often clash with your mother’s views. This will result in two things happening, a complete rebellion or withdrawal back into the nest living with mommy dearest. This is the reason you find 40 year old “boys”. They live in the nest their whole lives in comfort. He could have a family of his own married with a few kids but still be mama’s boy. At times he might resort to emotional and physical abuse to try and compensate for the lack of masculine force and direction in his life

Man of Steel, Hero or Villain.

A father-figure comes into play and is most needed during the transition. If there is no male influence or if the male going through transition does not trust the males in his life , this will hinder his journey. A father goes from a hero into a villain and back into a hero again. As a kid your father is your protector,a superhero. You get into your early teens he becomes a villain stopping you from being wasted all weekend cramping your style, making you go to school and obey rules. When the transition is near you start to see the light again. Upon completion of your transition you become a hero to others and a villain to some. Rebellion is the usual route if there is no male-figure. The boy would drink excessively, start doing drugs, get into fights all in attempts to leave the nest and get into the cave. In some cases they would take less self-destructing ways such as being consumed in a certain sport or activity or sexual addictions. They have to try and embrace raw masculine energy with no guidance. Wrong decisions are easily made and life-time consequences are suffered.

I myself am currently going through the transition. I am grateful I have my father’s support and presences. Even though there are many obstacles and wrong decisions, the guidance brings reassurance. The is no right or wrong but only my path and choices.

Jesse, have you…

Jesse, have you heard of a company called Gray Matter? I decided to leave the company. And I sold my share
to my two partners. I took a buyout for $5,000. Now, at the time, that was a lot of money for me. Care to guess what that
company is worth now? 2.16 billion as of last Friday. I look it up every week. And I sold my share, my potential for $5,000.
I sold my kids’ birthright for a few months’ rent. Jesse, you asked me if I was in the meth business or the money business. Neither
I’m in the empire business.

I have not written anything in a while since campus opened. But during my regular “TV series time” i was captured by Walter White “Heisenberg” in the series Breaking Bad. He pulled out of a billion dollar company because of certain obstacles for a buyout of $5000. At that time he felt as if it has not worth the persistence and ran away. It is difficult to pick out certain things in your life that might lead to a better future for you. We may opt for worthwhile pleasure or momentary benefits and in the process sacrifice your whole life’s achievements. Pleasures of the moment tend to take first priority with almost everyone. Personally I don’t believe in the “One Day” theory( the belief that something will one day happen without you putting in any effort to make it work or simply procrastination). This has made me question some habits that should be left in the past and some that should not.

Here is some food for thought about the commitments you have made and the one’s you should let go of. Try to limit possible future regrets because of past negative habits.

Social networks, silent killers?

Socializing in modern day has become a virtual experience for many people. Technology is ever evolving and at rapid speeds. Question is has social networks taken over the face-to-face human interaction? It is no secret that is has taken out the juice in social interaction. Texting is just passing of words from one user to the next. All the emotions, facial expressions and body language meant to be portrayed along with the message are lost. Is this killing our social skills? Are we beginning to lack tolerance of those cheesy small talks with strangers in favour of chatting to our “online” friends? Some will beg to differ as social networks have allowed them to step out their shell of shyness or lack of confidence. Long distance couples may argue that social networks has helped keep the flame alive. While others may blame social networks for failure of their relations.

Have you ever been so angry with someone and you feel as if a text expressing your anger isn’t enough? Even a phone call doesn’t seem to do justice. An emoticon (smiley) may come to your aid but still doesn’t get the job done. Limitations of virtual communication, the receiver of the text might not be emotionally moved as you have intended. Your issue might get resolved but not in the manner you wished for.

People can indulge in deep meaningful conversations over the net but those same conversations can be quickly forgotten due to lack of emotional presence, facial expressions, body language and tone of delivery. Those conversations were supposed to carry memories with them but instead a smartphone or computer screen comes to mind. Sticky situations are easily avoided by ignoring your little device. There is enough time to think of replies that will work to your benefit. If you owe someone money and they text asking for payment. You can take your own sweet time to think of a smooth lie as to why you couldn’t pay in time. In the real world this privilege is taken away and only real con artists and manipulative masters get away with blatant lies.

For some, social networks are heroes to them. To some, a great place to advertise and do business. Some can’t face the harsh reality and seek comfort behind social networks. A self-conscious person would live behind the screen trying to appear as cool in order to please society and its expectations. Status messages can be deleted and erased but life experiences can’t. The virtual community gives us second chances to reverse or undo our mistakes. A hurtful or offensive tweet can be easily taken back by deleting it but those same words can’t be taken back in real life. An apology maybe be given but the damage will be done already.

Businesses bloom with social network exposure especially fashion and tech businesses. Trends go very far with users especially with this infamous term “swag”. The popular users show off their possessions and influences the followers. Many portable communication devices come with a wide range of pre-installed social apps. This makes it inevitable that the user will definitely use at least one of the pre-installed apps. Large amounts of money are invested in upgrading already existing social apps, indicating growth in this market.

Whether you with them or against them, truth is there are here to stay. We cannot run away from the fact that over use is harmful. A complete stop could also be destructive to modern day operations. It is all up to self-control and balance.

Is Beauty A Beast?

There are many views on make-up and other artificial beauty methods. Some prefer everything natural, make-up is something foreign to them. While others indulge in different forms of “artificial beauty” to complement their appearance and personality. Ladies would you feel offended if your partner asked you to enlarge your breasts surgically? Men would you love your lady less if you found out that she had surgical work done to her breasts, thighs, waist and buttocks? Then we have natural beauties that lack personality traits to complement their looks. Beauty has different meanings to different people making it such a broad topic.

The issue of make-up has been debated and still is by many different groups of people. Some men appreciate the effort a lady would take to look presentable and beautiful according to their preferences. They take pleasure in watching their women with make-up on, looking all sexy for them. We all know how the masculine drools over curves but this is true for every male. We all know of celebrities who have had implants and did not make their operation a secret but men still appreciate them as if it was natural. Whether she has a weave, artificial nails or make-up on some people are not bothered by this.

Then you have those who believe in natural beauty. They frown down upon artificial beauty and label these women “fake”. They find make-up misleading and realize that beauty is a beast. According to their preferences those women look unpleasant once they have removed all the make-up. These women that use make-up undergo a lot of scrutiny from both males and females that are against it. The most common reason for hatred of make-up is that it’s deceiving. Female actors and celebrities appear differently behind your television than in life real and most people are irritated by this. A few people come into mind whenever we think about implants or surgery, Michael Jackson, Nicki Minaj and Kim Kardashian just to name a few. We all know the amount of scrutiny they have gone under, being labeled fake and phony. Some cherish these people even more with their artificial appearances. While others frown in disgust.

There are people who are born with facial structures that appeal to the majority of us. We label this as beauty or attractiveness. Few may agree that beauty consists of both physical appearance and personality. While others settle for either looks or personality to make their judgement on beauty. It is rare to find naturals who also have a great personality. Naturals have been praised from a very young age about their appearance. Good looking people receive favours throughout their lives because of their looks. Everyone is genuinely nicer to good looking people without even noticing it. This mostly applies to good looking girls. We often find pretty girls with unpleasant personalities because of how they have been treated. You get girls that are rated 9’s and 10’s with really dull personalities that bore the hell out of you. These girls have not been given the opportunity to work on their personalities because everyone is always nice to them. They never find the need to improve their social skills because no matter how revolting their behavior towards people is, there is always someone who wants to be around them despite their ill-mannered personality. They survive the social world solely on their looks. This does not last an entire life time however. These girls end up lonely later in life and wonder why men don’t want to date or marry them. Men would praise them and often want to have sex with them but never commit to them.

No matter which side of the coin you choose it is always good to keep an open mind about other people’s preferences. Whether you think beauty is a beast or you think the beast has always been beautiful it is your preference. “Beauty is common you are either born with it or you buy it”